I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this just has baby written all over it
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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