so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
