Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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