i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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