So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
