She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
