he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
