It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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