I'm lost and stupid without you.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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