Me too!
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
