we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's blow job season.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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