Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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