I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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