I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
