it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
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