Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
