Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We have so much sex to catch up on
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
