in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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