You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize