We're facebook friends in real life
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They took my balls.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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