she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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