i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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