sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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