So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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