I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
