haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
