I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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