we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
