U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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