I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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