There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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