Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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