i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
