I cockslap morals
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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