Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
