we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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