The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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