A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
honey bunches of taint.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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