Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
