At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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