HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
