I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
my poor anus
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
