sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Randomize
