he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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