he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
