There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
