Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
