I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
