Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
please come you make the beer taste better
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Randomize
