Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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