Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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