Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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