We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I understand Curling. That high.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
