tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
