I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
