I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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