For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize