Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
