I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
