I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I have post one night stand depression
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
