Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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