You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
