you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
