I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
