How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
