You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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