There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
