He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
